The Day I Regretted What I Searched Hard For (NDE Recovery Journal 12)

My Adventure with Jasmine

Eight months and four days post-NDE

I have been missing Jesus and heaven. But mostly Him. I’m not above almost begging God to take me back sometimes—sigh. His response usually provides some extra encouragement about being here on earth, whether it is family, ministry, or feeling like I helped someone else. Thanks, Jesus. That does help.

So What Are You Regretting?

I have a funny story for you.

Heaven smells sweet. I didn’t smell it —I felt like I was in a protected, transparent cocoon! But I have interviewed a few who said that heaven smelled like jasmine.

Jasmine is a character in my fiction series. After her trauma, she struggles mentally, even developing multiple personalities. One of them is just evil. Ruler starts as a mastermind by ambition, a menace by accident. But later he shoots Jazz—and while some call it premeditated attempted murder, he thinks it’s progress.

Anyway, in book 3, Jasmine works very hard to heal. And I thought, wouldn’t it be neat to mention that her mom had a reason for naming her Jasmine—and of course, it has to do with heaven?

But to “go there,” I needed to infuse some jasmine into my sinuses. Where could I find it? I posted on our local Facebook group and received some interesting answers. But most weren’t in bloom yet (thus no smell), and no one offered a cutting or a chance to hang out with them when they do bloom. Several posted, “And they smell so good when they bloom!”

I bet they do. They are heavenly flowers. I couldn’t wait.

One told me about a house with some, so I headed that direction on my walk the next day. As I meandered by, I thought I might have found them. But the flowers were right up against the house. Should I knock? My hand tightened around my mace. Should I run fast and rip off a flower before returning to the sidewalk? Eh… with people likely having cameras and watchful neighbors, I’d better not. Plus, I didn’t want to steal.

In the meantime, someone else said to look for jasmine tea at our local grocery store. I hadn’t thought of that. I ordered a pack from Amazon immediately.

But I wanted plants too! And, if they indeed smelled like heaven, I’m sure I would fancy planting a few hundred.

I texted my gardenly neighbor, who suggested her favorite nursery. I messaged the nursery, and yes, they had jasmine. Great.

But I Got Distracted

On the way home from my allergy appointment, I got distracted by another nursery, Cornell Farms—one I often sigh at—the long exhale meaning, “I’d really, really, really like to go wander in there sometime.” It rambles over several acres with various buildings, paths, fountains, and gardens between them.

It's a popular place! I wound around the back for parking, and had no clue where to start once I parked. I interrupted the vegetable guy as he scrounged for signage. He directed me to the next building up the hill, “by checkout.” I saw nothing jasmine-like and went to “checkout” to ask someone else.

“One more over for the sun ones. The ones that need shade are on the next patio—the covered one.”

Awww. So kind of them to give the plants what they want. But, two areas for one plant type? Obviously, I don’t have a degree in horticulture.

I moseyed over to one more building. I didn’t discover any jasmine, and then realized I didn’t know precisely what I pursued, as far as what it looked like when not blooming. The internet just really showed beautiful white star flowers on luscious greenery. And yikes, many varieties. I scanned about thirty tags and pulled up more pictures on my phone, all to no avail. Where’s a seasoned gardener when you need one?

Finally, I crossed a lane to another building where a lovely lady was watering. I told her of my goal, then laughed, and planted my face in my hand.

“Are you wanting the Star Jasmine?”

“Yes!” I thought that was it, anyway. It seemed to be the most popular jasmine picture on Google.

“Easy,” she smiled.

Oh? What did I miss? It turns out—only a huge display.

Two To Go, Please

She took me back across the lane while chatting about the history of the farm, and showed me a full table of jasmine. None in bloom, of course, but apparently, I’d glazed over while reading tags. Pricy babies! I saw several sprouts of new growth. Would anyone miss a cutting? Oh no, I would still be stealing. That would never work.

I never think about stealing. What the holy-moly?! I suspect that by now, Jesus must be having a fine ‘ole chuckle up there at my plight, and my stubborn insistence trying to introduce this flower to my olfactory nerves.

I grabbed one of the small “trees”—the cheapest one— and entered the “checkout building,” which I had now passed twice. And, found a lush and beautiful selection of houseplants.

My feet moved forward like sunflowers to the sun. I asked another helper only out of sheer curiosity, “Is there a jasmine that can grow in the house?” Sure enough. They were cute, and I might as well, right? Then I’d have two. I now could say with good authority that jasmine actually needs three locations.

I tried not to remind myself that I only needed to bury my nose in some blooms and perhaps strategically place one on my desk as I wrote. Could I write it off as book research?

I brought the blossomless babies home. I still had no idea what they smelled like. I took the tree-ish one outside, watered it carefully, and set it in the sun. The inside one needed a pot, so for now, I set it on the kitchen counter.

When writing later, I got an email that Amazon delivered my tea. I hopped up and ran to the front door. I grabbed the package, brought it inside, and tore it open. Yes! I opened the box, so excited. I even pulled out a little open container to put some in and set some inspiration on my desk.

And…I wonder if you know where this is going? I sure didn’t. For starters, the smell was familiar. I’d smelled jasmine before.

And gag—fresh-tea jasmine smells like a garden threw up. No thanks.

Perhaps the final time I go to heaven, it will smell of fresh bread for me?

P.S.- The day after, the tea is less pungent.

What am I Reading? Heaven Stormed

Randy Kay’s new book, “Heaven Stormed,” is profound, life-giving, and inspiring. In it, he writes his full testimony about his heavenly visit for the first time. I delight in reading it, and I can’t wait to get back to more, but parts (specifically the things Jesus shows him and says to him) bring me to tears. I am now in part three, where the Lord shares the end days with Randy. Eye-opening revelations, indeed. And yes, of course, everything lines up with scripture, but I am definitely looking at scripture in a new light.

Finding the Stories

I interviewed two people who have been to heaven and back this last week. One is in the category of people who didn’t officially have a near-death experience but experienced a vision (or more than one) from the Lord.

Their experiences often resemble the stories of those who flatlined, even though many had never read any near-death accounts before. It appears that our Lord sometimes specifically chooses people for this incredible experience.

God gives me a sense when someone’s not on the level. Thankfully, I’ve mostly talked with people I already know or who come recommended by someone I trust. (And friends, Randy’s book is on the level—I feel nothing but peace recommending his work.)

I’ve only interviewed two people whose stories I am not including in my heaven research due to the pauses the Lord gave me. (And when I say “research”, you should see my growing spreadsheets. Goodness. I might end up needing a better system.)

So, what’s next? My Lord has given me three areas of concentration, four if you count all the heaven research happening. After a lifetime of only getting one move at a time from Him, I consider this a step up!

Current Directives

1. Finishing book 3 in my human trafficking series. We are almost in the final stretch for an end-of-June release. I understand this instruction because it’s a previous commitment, and readers are asking. Oh, and Julie must practice not dropping things partway, even when the things ahead are sooooo exciting.

2. Going to the Heaven Encounters conference in October. He literally said, “Get yourself to the Heaven conference.” I don’t know why it makes me smile when He talks like us versus all formal-like, but it does. I am registered! Anyone else going?

3. Working on myself physically to better His temple (blegh!). But yes, that is happening as well.

Thank you for hanging out with me. You all are amazing. <3

FYI, prices are going to have to go up a bit on my fiction books, so check them out now if they interest you. Book 3 releases in June.

Links are affiliates and are helping fund my heaven research.