Important- Thanks to those of you still checking on my health. I am doing much better! Please note that these NDE Recovery Journal entries were written in the days right after my near-death experience. :-)
Day 12 After NDE
Hubby has been watching TV at a high volume and it is driving me batty. I sit on the couch and read, or lay on the couch and read, and it’s so loud, my ability to concentrate is nil. I wince. Especially when a commercial comes on and he doesn’t mute it in time. But how does one approach that conversation? “Darling, are you having a hard time hearing?” We are in our 50’s, not 70’s. I debate it a few times in my head but lose my nerve.
He leaves the room pre-commercial and I scramble and throw aside cushions to locate the remote. But when I point it at the screen, I see that the volume bars are at about the same level as they are when we usually watch TV. Huh?
Did heaven sharpen my hearing? It appears so.
I start the rush allergy shots today. It’s no longer an option since my body decided to flatline. I am grateful that hubby comes along and drives. These visits will be difficult. I get sick after the first dose but they have all the meds and fix that up. Make it through Shot 2 without all those issues. But the FATIGUE. Bone-weary fatigue. I literally feel like I’ve run a marathon – and no, I don’t run. LOL. I drag myself out to the car and struggle to get myself upstairs after we get home.
Probably several more weeks of this.
Day 13 After NDE
Interesting things continue to occur. I am a bit scatter brained. Do I have ADHD now? I have issues concentrating on one project and easily get distracted with other things. I guess this was always part of me but I need to focus harder now and store up the needed resolve. I only want to think about Him and Heaven.
My eyestrain from seeing heaven finally heals. Read more here. Yes, I was getting bad headaches with almost any light, being outside, or with my laptop screen at a brightness I formerly tolerated. I improve when off the computer. Can’t maintain that, of course, for either work or ministry, but when I dim the screen, it helps. And as long as I wear sunglasses outside, I don’t have great pain. I’m grateful this finally resolved. I need to watch screen time still – I am reading other people’s NDE’s and actually, for the first time in years, order the paperbacks and wear my reading glasses instead of reading the ebooks.
I finish Pam Farrel’s book “Glimpse of God’s Glory: One Woman’s Near-Death Experience” and Jim Woodford’s “Heaven, an Unexpected Journey: One Man’s Experience with Heaven, Angels and the Afterlife”. I can’t stop marveling over what we agree on, and often, the realizations bring tears.
-God is a baritone, He has a beautiful baritone voice. I’d been telling my husband for days that I had thought my Lord would be a bass.
-A swirling cloud, but was more solid than a cloud. YES, this is what I saw!
-Stained glass. He described the growing flowers this way, which I didn’t see. But this is what the gates were – along with pearls and black onyx.
-Colors. “…flowers reminded me of multifaceted stained glass of every color melded together providing shades of known and yet indescribable varieties of colors and colors merging with other colors.” That’s for sure!
-More on colors. “All the features of the surrounding landscape were filled with a bedazzling array of colors and sounds beyond any artist’s palette or composer’s manuscript, all laid out in a multi-sensory banquet under a brilliant blue yet sunless sky…not darker - deeper.”
-“Kaleidoscopic landscape”. And here I thought only my gates were kaleidoscope.
-“The streets were not the brassy gold of earth but a gold with all it’s impurities removed, resulting in a softer, muted tone.” Yes, that was my cloud.
-“It was a living light that caused everything from the gates of heaven to the host of angels, to shimmer like golden diamonds.” Perhaps the orange in my gate was just that.
I’ve read several accounts at this point. I email all of the authors - seeking someone to listen and validate, I guess. Pam is the only one who answers. We get on Zoom and share our stories, and I cry again. But this is so healing. God bless you, Pam.
Day 15 After NDE
Church is a little disappointing today. I appreciate seeing people and especially the ones who ask how I am or say it is good to see me. A couple of people stare at me. Oh, great.
I struggle to find my Holy Spirit jive. Usually, worship time provides that. But most of the songs I can’t even sing even because I cry. He is still with me – of course He is – and I feel Him pressing me to sit, and lean on the chair in front of me. I’m unable to move my bowed, weighted head until the songs finish.
Will everything going forward pale in comparison to being in His presence? I guess so.
In the NDE’s I’ve read, most don’t want to return and it is difficult to adjust to life back on earth. But most also tell their stories which brings hope, and they say they’re no longer afraid of death due to what they’ve experienced. So glad you’re sharing yours.